Assholes at Work…

Hammer has a good one about working with an asshole. I’d guess anyone who has had a job, knows someone similar.

My story starts when we moved to VA in December of 95. I was a young military wife facing her first PCS (Permanent Change of Station) move with my Army husband. In AL, I was a legal secretary and wanted to continue that field. When I arrived in VA, I went to a temp agency the first week and was quickly hired on at a medium sized law firm. After 90 days I’d go permanent – which meant more money. Our budget didn’t leave much after bills were paid and working was not a choice….lots of times we ate baked potatoes for dinner to keep our budget in check.

All in all, good times. Damn good times. Money don’t make ya happy – true love sure does though.

I know…get back to the story.

My first day, I arrived in typical conservative business attire of course. Everyone in the office was super nice from the attorneys to the phone gal – but one. I’ll call her Nan because that was her name lol. Everyone introduced themselves and shook my hand. Not Nan. She looked me up and down and said nothing. My hand just hung in mid air. I put it down and made a mental note to watch my temper when it came to her….I NEEDED this job.

I go permanent and my pay is a little better. One of the attorneys was in charge of collecting the county’s traffic tickets that were unpaid and I was chosen to attend court and do the collecting. Exciting stuff for me – a 20 something who DREAMED of law school (when she hadn’t even gone to college) got to sit at the prosecutor’s table with the lawyer and accept money. Not a big deal, but it was fun at the time, I learned a lot and it just pissed all in Nan’s cheerios.

My life became HELL. Every day she would say something nasty to me – either the way I did my job, what I was wearing, my hair – you name it I was HER whippin’ gal. She’d bump into ME and tell ME to watch where I was going….Heh heh, she had NO CLUE what was comin’ her way.

I have a horrid, horrid temper. It’s not so bad now that I’m a Mom, but back then….once I was really mad, I was mad enough to hurt someone and that’s never good. I grew up fighting an asshole brother four years my senior and taking shit off a two bit bar whore – well, every day I left pissed off, frustrated – just wanting to stomp the shit out of her JUST ONCE.

I needed this job though. I NEEDED it bad. So, for about a year I guess, I took her shit. And then, one day, she just caught me on a bad day. Not sure why, not sure what she said that set me off, but we were in the hall in front of the office manager’s door when Nan pulled her usual bullshit.

It was on…

I got in her face and explained that from this day forward things were either going to change or I was going to take her out behind the woodshed and one of us wasn’t coming back. I got that she didn’t like me and that feeling was mutual, but the next time she said something, touched me or hinted something ABOUT me, I was dragging her sorry ass outside and beating the living shit out of her and if she didn’t believe me, lets take a short walk.

Now while I’m giving my spill, I’ve got my finger in her face walking her backwards down the hall…she’s white as a sheet…

Afterwards she just whimpered, “oh, sorry” and walked off.

Wimp.

I hear the office manager say, “Shannon, can I see you a minute?”

*sigh* there goes the job….

I go in and she says to shut the door. I say, “I’m sorry, but everyone has a breaking point and I guess today was my day.” She said, “Hell, we’ve all been wondering when you were going to send her sorry ass packing!”

I was stunned. I guess they all had noticed the way she treated me and I never knew anyone was aware.

Moral of the story? Take no shit. EVER.

After I cleared the air, she was nice as pie. Invited husband and I out for dinner. When our dog chewed up carpet in our apartment, she sent her brother or someone out to fix it for us for free…. I ended up really liking her. Hell, had I done it six months prior, we might have been close friends, but I soon found another secretarial job that paid almost double, so I left.

Damn good times though. To be young, healthy and have spunk again….

Sigh….

Spring Break

is fast approaching. So, I’ll be taking some time to spend outside of the house with the chilt’ens while the weather is good. I should be back around the 23rd…

Hope you all have a great week!

Edited to Add: Ok, maybe not all week….the weather has gotten cold again lol.

So Here I Am…

trying to be a better blogger.  The problem is, although I have stuff to write about, none of it seems to want to make its way past the keyboard and onto the page lol.

I’ve tried to write a parenting post several times and I end up deleting it.  Lets see if I can make it stick this time.

Being a Parent Sometimes Stinks
I try not to brag about my children. They are polite, well-behaved, considerate of others, loving – and the list goes on. They are truly exceptional little people and I feel they’d be this way with or without me. It’s just the way God made them. I was just blessed to be able to share their first 18 years with them and hopefully guide them to be productive, happy and healthy adults. I honestly don’t think I have had a lot to do with how wonderful they are – it’s just who they are.

I could take them to a White House dinner tonight and they’d be like little adults at the table. They may not know the right fork to use heh heh, but their behavior would be impeccable. We’ve walked into restaurants and seen the looks of dread on an older couple’s face as our young family is seated next to them. Undoubtedly, they’ve had similar experiences to ours – where your dinner is ruined by the wild children at the table next to us and their idiot parents. I try not to be upset at the children – it’s the parents who have failed to teach them anything, much less the basics of how to behave at the table whether it’s their own dining room table or a table at a restaurant. Anyhow, I’ve seen the looks of dread and we certainly understand them. However, we’ve also been blessed by having several of these couples stop by our table and compliment our children. I recall one saying it was a pleasure to sit next to our family and compliment us on how well behaved our babies are. To me, it’s the best compliment ever when a stranger will take the time to stop and compliment my children. Lets face it, if we fail to teach our children basic manners and appropriate behavior, we’re really short-changing them in life. Manners and good behavior help you on into adulthood. Without them, you won’t do well in job interviews, you’ll be passed over for promotions – it could even impact their personal life. I was just raised that manners were very important and you should know how to behave and act appropriate in any situation.

Now, I grew up in a house where no one was happy. I don’t blame my Mother completely – she’s had a hard life, there is no doubt. I am a single mom at times, however, I’m not having to support my children financially on my own. I’m in a loving relationship with their father whether he’s home or on the other side of the world. I have someone out there who loves ME – the good, the bad and the ugly lol. I have someone who puts me first and treats me special. Mother and step-father have had this love/hate relationship – where step-father is even keeled, but Mother bounces between not being able to stand the sight of him to tolerating him. WHY they’ve stayed together for 25 years I’ll never ever understand. Why she is still with someone who she has never been HAPPY with – makes no freaking sense to me. She loves to be miserable is what I’ve finally come up with. With him around, she has an excuse to stay pissed off. If he were no longer around, she’d have to face that she’s just misery waiting for an excuse I guess.

Back to the point – I spent most of my time growing up at my friend’s house and when I was home, I tried to be a wallflower. I tried to make sure my chores were done to her specifications. I tried to stay in my room a lot and lay low. She was always mad about something. Slamming doors, cabinets – stomping, bitching, yelling. I swore when I had children, they would not have to walk on eggshells. It’s rare that I yell – usually if I do, it’s because they’re upstairs and it’s the only way they’ll hear me over whatever commotion that got my attention lol.

So, in our house, we’re not yellers. Yelling makes me nervous, makes me defensive – and it’s just not something husband and I do. I don’t consider myself to be a big disciplinary. They don’t get in trouble too often. We have rules and you either follow the rules or there are consequences. I can’t recall ever spanking my children. Not that I’m against it or for it, I’ve just never been in a situation with either of them where I felt it was needed. Sending them to their rooms does the job just fine. Maybe they are just tender hearted, but the fact that they are “in trouble” and have disappointed their Dad and I is more upsetting to them than having to go to their room or having something taken away – like Friday Night Movie Night or not going to the park.

All this brings me to the real story – why parenting is sometimes so hard. I guess it was two weeks ago, I spent several hours in their rooms cleaning and downsizing. Daughter did a lot of her own room. Their rooms had gotten completely out of control. Son’s room was the worst – he had so much stuff out, you had to pray going in there at night to check on him that you didn’t step on something round, fall and break your neck lol.

After we got everything organized and put away (and lots thrown away), the three of us had a long talk. I told them this was the LAST time they would let their rooms get in that bad of a shape. Every evening, their rooms would be straight before they went to bed and every morning, their beds would be made and their rooms straight before they leave for school or go play. They both understood that these were always the rules, but we’d all sort of let things slide, so we were getting back to business.

Fast forward two days.

Rooms are disaster areas.

*sigh*

So, now I have to discipline and it stinks. I know it’s necessary. It’s my responsibility to ensure they grow up to be responsible adults and if there is no discipline, they are pretty much on their own to figure it out in adulthood. I tell them both that we’d JUST had a talk about keeping our rooms clean and making our beds and it’s not even been three days and their rooms are awful. I know that a lecture isn’t going to cut the mustard because we’d just done that song and dance two days prior. I told them they both were in trouble and as such, Daughter would not be going to her friend’s house Saturday and Son wasn’t going to a party Saturday afternoon. Now, get your rooms cleaned up.

It sucked. They were both so disappointed. I know they were looking forward to their plans and I hated to take that away from them. I felt it was necessary to get the point across though. Darn, my heart hurt. Parenting isn’t easy…

Their rooms have been clean since though. I haven’t had to remind either of them even once, so I gather the lesson has been learned. I’m sure sooner or later we’ll have to learn the lesson again, but for now, everything seems to be back on track thank goodness. Gosh am I glad that’s over….

Monday Morning Blues…

When husband left, he filled up the gas tank and put his car in the garage. I’d planned on letting it sit there until he came home for several reasons. The main being, looking at it makes me want to cry. I’m not sure if anyone else feels as I do, but in my opinion, a person’s car reflects them…especially if it’s a car they really like.

Looking at his car makes me extremely sad. It reminds me of how lonely I am, makes me want to cry – and at least once – seeing it made me physically ill. About two months after he left, I’d gone to the garage to get something and I had completely forgotten his damn car was in there. My mind was a million miles away – but when I opened the door, it’s as if someone punched me right in the gut. I quickly turned out of the garage door towards the yard and tossed my cookies. Poor son was coming across the patio as this fiasco was going down and asks if I’m ok. In my defense (I swear I’m not a TOTAL nutcase), I had been fighting the flu for a week so I’m sure that had some to do with it. When I opened that door though – the sight of his car was just too much. After fertilizing the yard, I just shut the door and locked it back. Whatever it was that I needed could wait. Now I don’t even remember why I went out there…

I talked to my Dad Saturday and the subject of husband’s car came up. He asked if I was driving it or if it was still in the garage. I told him it was still in the garage and I’d planned on leaving it there until either husband came home for R & R or came home for good. He said to check to see if where we buy our gas has ethanol and if it does, to consider getting it out of the garage.

When the babies and I went to the store for a soda Saturday afternoon, I checked and our gas station doesn’t have ethanol in their gas. On the way home though, I thought it was probably best if I started driving his car. Our neighbor happened to be out, so it was the perfect opportunity to get the car out. Our garage doors are old and apparently have something missing that makes them easy to open. The doors are too heavy for me to open, hence the need for a male neighbor to lend their strength to the situation heh heh. So, I pulled the car around to the front of the house and spent the rest of the weekend trying to avoid the front yard.

This morning, when I came home from taking the babies to school, I sure wished I’d left it in the garage. I know I need to drive it, but facing it first thing in the morning is enough to depress the hell out of me. Just makes me miss him even more…with it sitting there, just like when he’s home, well, it makes the lonely worse for some stupid reason.

I did drive it this afternoon to pick up the babies from school though. It’s apparent that I am extremely rusty in the manual transmission department. The phrase, “Can’t find ‘em, grind ‘em” came to mind several times as I tried to find reverse the first few times lol.

*sigh*

We’re almost to the halfway mark. On the twentieth he’ll have been gone six months. Although last deployment he didn’t get R&R, this time, he’s suppose to. I’m not holding my breath, but if so, we’ll get to see him in three months or so. And, I cannot wait…

My Favorite Bloggers

I’ve noticed that my favorite bookmarks are out of control. I probably have 200 blogs I’ve bookmarked and out of all of them, I visit only a few every day. I really need to take some time this coming week and delete a bunch of them off and downsize – some spring cleaning of my computer if you will.

I thought I’d share some of my favorites with you.  My Daily Reads are as follows…most are linked from the sidebar here, but one or two are new and I will be linking them soon.

My first stop each morning after reading Neal Boortz is Charming, Just Charming. GuyK, like my husband, is an early riser. As he enjoys his first couple cups of Jumpstart, he treats us to his morning observations on Sweetthing’s half acre. He’ll sometimes give us a few jokes or a rant or two about something he’s read in the NYT that morning. Often, he gives us a glimpse into his life – whether it’s the tree rats, birds or during the warmer months, how his tomatoes and other vegetables are growing.

Each morning, without fail, he’s there to greet us – and I, for one, am extremely grateful. As my morning gets started, I am able to sit down with my own cup of jumpstart and enjoy his view of the world. It’s like having coffee with an old friend every morning. I wish I was as dedicated a blogger and could write like he does every day. I do try, but I sit down and end up staring at a blank screen. When I surf around looking for something to write about, I either run out of time to blog something of my own or never find anything that I could elaborate on to add to the discussion. So, I truly admire how he does it and can only try to start doing a quarter of the job he does. Thanks Guy, for allowing us all to start our days with such great observations about life and politics over our morning coffee.

My next several stops are police blogs. I’d decided to read a few police blogs since husband has talked about joining a police force in a larger city just west of us when he retires. He’s already talked to the LT there and he seemed pretty sure husband would have no trouble getting on after he takes their test. Not really my idea of what I’d like him to do when he retires of course. A desk job that bores him to tears would make me happy since I’m a professional worrier lol. However, I know he’d be miserable, so maybe this is the type of job that would help him feel fulfilled after retiring from the Army.  At any rate, here are a few police blogs you might enjoy:

• The LawDog Files
• The Johnny Law Chronicles
• Negative, Ghostrider

Hammer’s blog, When Your Only Tool is a Hammer… is another daily read. Like Guy, he is dedicated to blogging, bringing us new stories to read and enjoy each day. From childhood memories to stories about his beautiful children and the love he has for them – there’s never a dull moment. In my opinion, anyone can be a a parent, but it takes someone special to really be a Mom and Dad. Among those, the truly exceptional are the Moms and Dads who adopt. They are as much blessings to the world as are their children and Hammer is one of these special people.

Big Dick’s Place is a recent find and has quickly turned into a daily read. Like my other favorite bloggers, he tells it like he sees it and makes no apologies – which is my kind of blogger. Having just recently found his blog, I don’t have a lot of details about how often he writes or anything, but thus far, I’ve enjoyed reading his opinion which is definitely NOT politically correct and is a blog to enjoy without your children looking over your shoulder (Fattie Friday for example heh heh). Be sure to check out the comments too – they are often hilarious. A lot of like-minded, say what you mean and mean what you say, non-politically correct folks sharing their thoughts. Being a newbie to the blog, I can’t help but to look forward to reading more and being another non-PC commenter.

PawPaw’s House is another recent find – having just found it a few days ago. I’m not really familiar with his writing or anything else for that matter, but what I’ve read so far has made this blog one I plan on visiting often.

There are more, but I’ll leave it here for now.

And a Sidenote: Dick suggests we have our links open in a new window within our posts. As a former web designer, I do agree. It’s one of the “tricks of the trade.” You have external links (links to other sites) open in a new window so you don’t lose readers. When the link doesn’t open in a new window, often, after reading the linked material, visitors will surf on to the next thing instead of hitting the back button to return to your site. When a link opens a new window, when the visitor closes out that window, your site is displayed – and they continue on reading. Unfortunately, when I include the target code in my links here on wordpress – when it saves my post, it strips out the links completely for some reason. So, until I figure out why that is, none of my links in my posts will open up a new window – which really irritates the heck out of me. Not important I guess, just wanted to elaborate….

PROOF That I Really Need a Life

Here is a story that proves, beyond doubt, that I’m in desperate need of a life.

The weather here is finally warming up. We’ve even seen temps as high as 42 in the morning, which is a major improvement over 4 degrees with 25 mph winds. For the past week, we’ve touched 70 or near 70 degrees in the afternoon! Spring fever has officially overtaken cabin fever.

The downside was the shape my backyard was in. All the snow had melted, revealing all the turds my wonderful two dogs had left throughout the winter. Blegh!

Husband saves our plastic grocery bags and uses those to pick up turds. I decided the job was SO big due to me not picking up after them since it got really cold in – oh, November lol, I needed to buy a pooper scooper of sorts. It just so happened that I had jury duty a few weeks ago and while waiting, I struck up a conversation with the lady next to me. Somehow we got on the topic of dogs and dog shit of all things. I’d mentioned that I wanted something with a long handle (because it’s the bending over repeatedly that makes the job so hard on my belly), but Wal-Mart only had a short scooper thing that would be about the same as picking it up with plastic bags. She told me where to buy the perfect pooper scooper. That she’d bought it last year and it had really made the job a lot easier.

So, on Monday after I picked up the babies from school, off we headed to the country, where the store is located on the edge of town. That’s where I bought this beauty. Tuesday afternoon, I headed out to the backyard with my new pooper scooper and a HUGE trash bag. While the babies rode their scooters, I picked up piles of poop.

I have to say, for a job I DREAD doing every few days, this new device makes it so much easier. The Police Dog had taken to poopin’ on the patio for some reason. I figured my new scooper wouldn’t do too well on there, but I was wrong. Regardless of whether it was the grass or on the patio, this thing worked like a charm. And the best part? NO bending over repeatedly!

So, as I wrote three paragraphs of praise about the new pooper scooper in an email to husband it dawned on me…I really do need a life if how I pick up the dog shit in the backyard is the most interesting thing I have to tell my husband.

*Sigh*

That thing works like a dream though and it’s the best $20.00 I’ve spent in a long time - but damn do I really need a life lol.

Now THIS????

When I was young, I had a problem that we never really discussed. It wasn’t that anyone was ashamed or anything of that nature, it was more, “Shannon has a tendency to walk in her sleep, so keep an eye on her.”

I never worried about it and neither did Mother or anyone else- although looking back, maybe someone should have. I believe the last episode (without a better word to call it), I was over 16 because I know I had my drivers license due to what happened. I had an old muscle car that had eaten alternators from the time my father had purchased it brand new in 1977. In a three month span, I had changed the alternator, starter and solenoid. When you’re young, poor and capable, you fix your own car to save money. I’m proud to say I could work on a car better than most of my guy friends growing up. Always believing I came by my talent honestly – since I’ve always thought my Dad was so talented he could fix a car with a bowl of oatmeal and a string if necessary.

The sleep walking episodes were always few and far between – now that I’m thinking about it. I’ve not thought about this in years and years, so stay with me here as I try to remember and not ramble too much. The first incident I remember was while spending the night with my best friend at her grandmother’s house. I think we were 12 or 13 years old. For some reason we were there by ourselves. Her grandmother was in the hospital I think. Anyhow, we decided to sleep in the living room and I got stuck in this uncomfortable chair. Sometime in the night I dreamed a woman woke me up, took me by the hand and said, “Come on baby, sleep back here on this bed. No one is going to care.” I woke up to a panicked friend who got scared when she didn’t see me when she woke up – only to find me in a spare bedroom, curled up on top of the covers. She asked what I was doing back there and all I could do is tell her about what seemed real in my dream, but I distinctly remember in my dream how good it felt to lay down on the bed, compared to being cramped up in that chair. Being kids, sleep walking never dawned on us – we just assumed it must be the ghost and that was the reason we NEVER spent the night there again lol. We always felt odd in her grandmother’s house. The backyard was great with an old cement pool – but once you went inside, it was a different story.

I don’t remember any other sleeping walking until I was 16 or so. I’d gotten on the couch after supper one night. I didn’t feel good, so I thought I’d just rest for a bit. The next thing I know, Mother is talking LOUDLY saying, “Shannon, WHERE are you going??!” I remember feeling shaky and awful and confused. I’m not on the couch, I’m standing on the back patio with my Mother and I have no clue how I got there. She said I’d just gotten up and opened the back door and when she asked where I was going I said I was going to get the cat food of all things lol. She said I had a strange look on my face and even though her brain was going 90 to nothing thinking “Well, maybe she bought cat food and left it in her car” she said her inner voice said that something wasn’t right and she needed to follow me.

I would go a while without an episode and then they’d come on again once I was well into my teens, working full time and going to school. One episode, I never even woke up. Step father said I’d gone to bed several hours before and since it was 1 in the morning, he was startled to see me coming down the hall at that hour. I was a HARD sleeper as a teen because I was so damn tired lol and he knew it wasn’t normal for me to get up in the middle of the night. He said I walked to the front door and he asked if anything was wrong. I said something about my car needing a part (step-father is a lawyer and couldn’t work on a car to save his life so I’ll never know what part I was buying for that old car in my sleep lol). Step father said he told me he’d take me in the morning to get it, just go on back to bed and get some good rest. He said I seemed fine with that and went on back to bed.

Again, the sleepwalking would seem to go away and then one day I wake up with a sore on my right cheek. Not realizing it’s there, I go into the kitchen and Mother says, “What in the heck happened to your face? Did you sneak out?” I think she’s finally lost it and tell her I have no clue what in the world she’s talking about. About that time, my face starts hurting and sure enough I have a red, yucky looking long sore on my right cheek. She’s not believing I have no clue what happened – until she notices that we’re all just getting up but the front door isn’t closed all the way. Something we NEVER did was leave doors unlocked.

I walk outside and by my car is my tool set that had been in my back seat floor board and it’s on the side of the car the starter is located. A starter and solenoid I’d just changed about a week prior. The only thing we can come up with is I must have been out there in my sleep and scratched my face. I vaguely remember dreaming about working on the car…

Now, it’s been years and years since I’ve had any sleep walking episodes. I don’t recall ever having one during our marriage and don’t recall any episodes the years prior to meeting husband and marrying him. This morning though, I wake up in the chair in the living room. Not too odd. I’ve not been sleeping well and I often get up in the middle of the night and dose off in the chair. I go in to make coffee though and when I open up the coffee maker, there’s a used filter in there. Again, not too odd since I had made coffee yesterday evening to have a cup after supper and sometimes I forget to toss it out before going to bed. When I went to remove the filter, what I saw next scared the shit out of me. On top of the coffee grounds is sugar. The minute I see that, I vaguely remember dreaming something about putting a lot of sugar on top of the coffee grounds – which makes no damn sense. However, there it is – sugar around the edges that is now hard and stuck together. In the center there is no sugar, it’s just around the edges…

So I am a little worried. The idea of sleep walking without anyone here keeping an eye out scares me. Hopefully, it’ll be like years ago and I’ll not have another episode for months or years. This is just the last thing I would have thought would come up during this deployment….good grief.

Are Terrorists planning a School Slaughter in America?

American and Proud asks Are Terrorists planning a School Slaughter in America?

Linking to Senior PoliceOne Contributor, Chuck Remsberg’s article: Mass Slaughter In Our Schools: The Terrorists’ Chilling Plan?, the implications within the article are so frightening that if you do not read it and have children in school, you might as well be sticking your head in the proverbial sand.

I’m sure you’ve heard of the terrorists attacking school children in Russia. However, like me, you may not be aware of most of the sickening facts. READ Mr. Remsberg’s article. Scroll down to The terrorists’ tactical model and read about what these animals did to CHILDREN and then ask yourself – what is MY children’s schools doing to protect them? Answer? Most likely, nothing.

The American public, “sticking their heads in the sand, can’t be mentally prepared,” he said. “They’re going to freak when it happens,” their stubborn denial making the crisis “all the more shocking.”

Here’s a bit of a warning to our peaceful Muslims who are terrorists or support terrorists around the world. You may think we Americans are paper tigers. You may get the impression that we’re weak due to the whiners the MSM decide to constantly show on our TV screens. Don’t be fooled. There are many more of us who will gladly refuse to run and hide. We want to see you dead and would welcome the opportunity to help you get that way.

September 11th was plenty reason for us. However, there are still those on the fence. They know you’re dangerous, but they think there is still some humanity within you and falsely believe talking to you will change things. Attack our schools full of our children? Well, if that wouldn’t get this country behind a war against terrorists around the world WHEREVER we find them – I don’t know what would.

These bastards are animals and until we take this war seriously, the threat to our children and our children’s children will only grow…